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How To End Human Suffering
NINJA VERSUS PIRATE FEATURING ZOMBIES was shortlisted for the 2013 ReLit Award for novel.

In a world where ZOMBIES control banks and governments, only one young man sees the way things are and emerges from the CHAOS and destruction: GUY BOY MAN. While he tries to end human suffering worldwide and in his high school, Guy Boy Man meets a cute PINK-HAIRED girl named BABY DOLL15 who has a UNICORN that follows her everywhere. An EPIC ROMANCE begins, but forces BEYOND THEIR CONTROL are intent on keeping the young couple apart. One of those FORCES may—or may not be!—Guy Boy Man’s closest friend, a handsome African-American NINJA named SWEETIE HONEY; another could be four EXOTICALLY BEAUTIFUL, genetically engineered and behaviorally modified EASTERN EUROPEAN girls; yet another, the principal of their HIGH SCHOOL . . . not to mention an impending standardized test known as the ZOMBIE ACCEPTANCE TEST! Will Guy Boy Man find a way to be with Baby Doll15 in a WORLD WHERE EVERYONE IS DOOMED to become either zombies or zombie food??!!


"Chaotic, crazy, and undeniably captivating, NVPRZ is the quirkiest take yet on the zombie genre. First in a series that is sure to be a smash with the gaming generation." -
Library Journal

"...if you're anything like me, you will laugh hysterically and feel vaguely guilty over it and wonder if maybe there's something wrong with you." - Carrie Harris, author of BAD TASTE IN BOYS, Delacorte Press

"I was averaging at least one laugh a page (sometimes more) while marveling at Marshall’s audacity to continually push the bounds of absurdity (and common decency)." - Nick Sharps, SF Signal

"The novel’s satire runs so perfectly parallel to the zeitgeist of contemporary culture that it’s either the most flippant and offensive thing I’ve ever read, or the most concise allegory on post-industrial culture to ever to be constructed." - Adam Shaftoe,
The Page of Reviews

"Reading James Marshall’s debut novel
Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies is like drinking a cocktail laced with highly illegal hallucinogens. Equal parts paranormal fantasy, absurdist fiction, existential horror, and coming-of-age tale, experiencing this strange novel is like reading Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland on acid." - Paul Goat Allen, Barnes & Noble

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